No Turning Back.

Yesterday, I, together with Mich, Lady, Jho and Lourdes took the busy and crowded streets of Sampaloc, Manila where the Professional Regulation Commission office is located to file our application for the September Chemistry Licensure Exam. Well, it was actually my second time to be there on my own (I mean without my Mom with me) and so I found it really hard to locate where the place is exactly. Good thing Lourdes and Tita Mi (that's how I call Mich) know how to get there and so we were saved from the possible danger of being lost and worse, getting "fooled" (by that I mean that ignorance of the place is never an advantage). 

We arrived there half past two in the afternoon and my gosh, talk about a really, really crowded place. haha. Lines were endless, (kidding, of course) and people were lost. And so we were. We filled up forms, (many forms) and fell in line. And oh, I was shocked that a mailing envelope there costs 21Php. haha. Too expensive, eh? I wish I brought my paste (glue) because I'm too scared to know that it costs much for its value. I was surprised though, I bought one for only 3Php. 

At last, around 4pm, we were done. Filing an application cost me around a thousand. o_O. I'll have it reimbursed when Papa is home. (That's a week from now. Yipee!) We planned beforehand to look for a dorm or alike to stay in on the day of the exam. For all you know, the Boards is a two-brain-draining-day exam which starts early 7am and ends 5pm. Because of this, we need somewhere to spend the night (the 'how' depends on how the first day turns out). Unfortunately, the exact place of the exam was not yet announced and thus we crossed our plan out. We took pics as souvenir, hoping that we will not be going back there again next year. haha. POSITIVITY IT IS! Tita Mi and Ludy refused to pose and so only the three of us were captured. (Me solo!)

Jho and Madam (Lady) at the PRC Lobby.

Madam took this photo. Thanks to her.

We decided to go to Trinoma instead. Thanks because I'm so dead hungry. Haha. I looked for Sisig Hooray! for I was craving for their chicken sisig since last week. I found them at the food court. And as you all know, eating is my favorite part of the day so I indulged. Buurp. Solved.

                       

We dropped by the National Book Store to buy brown and plastic envelope, and I found an orange pen so I took it too. :) We called it a day and headed home separately. 

On the way home, I realized omg there's no turning back. After the hassle I went through that day, I never wish to experience it all over again. Besides, we promised Manong Guard that we will not come back there if not for the details of oath taking. :) Again, POSITIVITY IT IS! So help us God. 

What's Next?

Well  this is kinda weird wrong that I keep on posting while my PhyChem book was set aside. Truth is, I'm on a break, resting. I should be burying my self on books, Chemistry books for that matter, instead of typing a blog. But not doing this makes me a cragfast learner. I'm not moving on.

As my senses perceive, September is just a blow away. And I couldn't find the right motivation to keep myself reminded of what will happen to me if I fail don't get things right. I had plans you see, and as of now, at this very moment I evaluate myself, plans are all I've got. I got plans, Plans don't got me. Funny.

I constantly think of what lies ahead after that greatest-exam-of-my-life-before-I-enter-the-real-world given that I passed. Two things come into my mind. Work. And the very classic, Work. haha. And the story goes on: I've got a stable job with a relatively high salary, and by that I mean amounting to something more than enough to suffice my wants needs, I've got to travel anywhere I want without hesitations, eat whatever I want until my tummy aches, party all night with friends, and buy the things that will make me happy at a cost. Perfect! And then the clock ticks, omg it's past 4 and I haven't even gone through page 4 of this book!

I realize how will I be able to have this perfect fantasy in my hands if fantasizing is all I do. Pathetic isn't it? I keep building dreams but do nothing to reach them. I seem to be an architect of dreams unemployed, that's being useless. And yes, I feel useless almost everytime since I stepped up on the stage to receive my diploma. Seeing my highschool and college friends putting their work position on Facebook makes me jealous, and more jealous. I can't stand waiting anymore. Waiting for that perfect job and company to seek me. I'm tired waiting, but I'm not doing anything.

Until I saw this picture on Tumblr (by the way, my account is kayedeecarl.tumblr.com), it hit slapped me on the face. REAL HARD.

From http://blog.bufferapp.com

Wake up stupid little ME! The future is neither coming nor waiting for you. You  I will be coming into the future whether I like it or not. There's nowhere to go but to the next exit. What matters most is how ready I am for the future. Because it has always been ready for me. People make their future. So I will make my soon-to-reach future my way: perfect.

Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made. 

-- John 1:3 (NIV)

And so, I'll end this post and publish it, put my laptop down and grab my PhyChem book and calculator. :)) See you next time guys. Soon in the future. :)

when love is as ______ as _______.

Forever. And always. 

I always thought love would be as easy as ABC given that there is reciprocation.

Reciprocation. And mutuality.

I have fought hard for this sinking love ship to still sail into the future.

In this point in time, I might give up.

It is not that reciprocation is absent, it's just that reciprocation is so overwhelming.

It has gone beyond the limit.

Over-possession. Obsession. 

Jealousy. Doubt. Distrust. Untruthfulness. 

These are absolutely murderers.

Like a cancer slowly ruining a relationship.

Bringing dumbness and boredom.

And worst,  tiredness.

I wish love would be easier to understand.

Like a river continuously runs into the sea.

Like the rain pouring on a beautiful August day.

Or the sun shining on the month of May.

I love you. 

But love does not seem to always to be enough.

Love and Trust should go hand in hand.

Love is not love without Trust.

Trust is not trust without Love.

If love can be as sweet as an ice cream has always been,

then who can resist being in it?

If love can be as soft as a pillow to hug on a stormy night,

then who can ever refuse it?

But then again, life is always never  enough.

There are expectations but there will never be perfections.

Only reality.

And it is true, at least sometimes.

TRUTH HURTS.

and

REALITY SUCKS.